Today at the bus stop, I ran in to the most adorable crazy Christian lady. I was standing next to the newspaper vending machines, off to the side. Emphasis: off to the side. And she comes up to me and insists I move, gesturing at the newspaper machine. Which confuses me, because it opens from the front, not the side.
Apparently she was trying to get her phone, which she left on top of the machine. And she felt that taking two small steps around me was just far, far too unreasonable an effort. So she goes off on me. For not being a proper gentleman, and how she asked me to move. And I'm like, lady, two points: One, I'm female. Two, you could have taken two steps around me.
And I'm laughing because, I mean, "not a gentleman", for refusing to bow to her whims? And she can't even get my gender right? That's hilarious.
And then she goes off on how I'm "probably agnostic", like this is some sort of insult. And I just adore Portland's religious crazies, because they're a special breed of harmless and just... completely and totally off the rails. Like, I know I'm not having a rational conversation, so I can just enjoy scoring logical points and know that they'll all be ignored (her response was "blah blah blah", so yeah...)
I don't know what it is about me (although I blame Discordianism), but I really kinda love encounters like that. Like, I'd prefer these people not exist, and not bug me? But I was laughing for the entire bus ride, because it was just so wonderfully quixotic and absurd of her. Here's this self-confessed Christian insulting my weight, my religion, and my manners. And yet, here's this self-confessed Christian completely failing at manners, basic decency, or even the actual teaching of Christ (Matthew 25:40: "Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.")
What a wild, crazy start to the day!